Thursday, January 15, 2009
CSI (Crumb Scene Investigations): A True Incident
So I was telling a friend the other day about the funny thing that happened on the way to the market...
This gang of coffee beans jumped me in the alley and chased me with pocket knives asking me for all my tea bags. So I gave in. She said, “damn those coffee gangs they're every where!”
“Yes I know” I said.
But really, its those Hot Chocolate thugs you really need to watch out for. They be standing on street corners trying to push marshmallows on kids.
Hey...did you go to bed already. Where's my milk and cookies?
Did you hear that?
(BAP BAP BAP) Tires screeching in the background.
There was drive-by shooting a moment ago, by Graham Crackers. He shot Milk & Cookies and they lost a chocolate chip and were rushed to the hospital. The police thinks it was gang related, and chased down Coffee Beans to see what they knew. Unfortunately they were last seen on the 91 freeway leaving Los Angeles, driving a white Ford Bronco they car-jacked at gun point from Oranges by the freeway off-ramp.
Well, as it turned out, Graham Crackers saw Cupcakes talking to Milk & Cookies at the movies and got jealous and popped a cap in they ass.
“Damn, why dude have to get so jealous?”
I don’t know. Dr Pillsbury Doughboy suggested he take up knitting to work out his aggressions and spend more time with Brownies.
“Brownies will help him out.”
You think so?
Well, I think it will be okay if Fudge doesn't mind. But he's got so much sugar in his bowl, it might scare Graham off.
“Naw, Graham doesn't spook that easy, he's solid.”
Except for when he sweats, he tends to get a bit soggy.